Right! no need for alarm, but it turns out that I am presently overstaying my welcome here in Dubai, allow me to fill you in.
Basically, I applied for my work visa here through my company. But due to the red tape and general bureaucratic nonsense, which mind you makes ye old England look lawless! I find myself without a work visa and on a visit visa which is 10 days expired. Yes people you are reading the blog of an illegal immigrant or as they say in the native land a SIASEY PANA! Apparently there was a problem in the system which processes the visas and so I find myself in this slightest of predicaments. Hard to believe it I know, but yes even her Majesty's discretion has its limits. Despite being a proud holder of the mighty British Passport I find myself looking sheepishly over my soldier every time that I am confronted by any individual resembling a law enforcer. Only last night for instance I was walking back to the apartment and saw a police car parked at the entrance of the building, so maneuvering evasively I sprung into action and out of the way of any possible confrontation. Frighting visions of heartless deportation officers banging at my apartment door with the order at the ready to drag me from my humble abode raced through my mind as I tried to maintain calm and tried even more tirelessly to control my breath as the adrenaline pumped through my vains! Then came the images of my family and my childhood all flooding back to me in a raging tsunami of emotion, oh "how could this happen to me, I only came here for a better life, all I wanted was to get myself back on track, this is the last thing I need, please God (tears flowing) I am sorry for all the bad things that I have done, I promise you I will be a good boy, I will pray and do all the good things that good people do". 5 minutes went by 10 minutes went by still the lights flashed in front of me and with every flash my heart sunk deeper and deeper and deeper. "I need to make a run for it thats the only way I am going to make it, or maybe I should wait a few more minutes just in case, no I should go, stay, go, stay go argghhhh! My mind was quickly becoming my worst enemy I had to get a hold of myself, think Raz think! "Ok, ok I can make this I just need a plan, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am going to find it!" I reassured myself.
Just then it happened. "You've got to be s******g me" I said to myself as I rummaged through my pockets in a mad frenzy, tears flooding from my ears. I hadn't even noticed the rain which had drenched me and my favorite H&M office shirt causing my ever bulging muscles to protrude through the thin white cotton (honestly). "No! no! Bono please don't do this to me! Why! Mary why" I say it with no shame I cried like a baby in a wet nappy.
And who had put my phone on loud, it was never on loud it was always on vibrate! Just then I punched my pocket as hard as I could and in the heat of the moment completely oblivious to what was going on around me I flew out from behind the bush and began to run. And run I did like I had never done before. My shirt was torn and a little trickling of blood caught my eye as I glimpsed down to investigate the sharp pain at my side. This was no time for feeling sorry for myself as I ran through sand dune after sand dune. Just then I remembered the famous words of my old business teacher Mr Tattle 'the ability to make split second decisions can be the difference between success and failure'. Well, dear Sir I had made the decision whether or not it was the right one only time will tell. Just then came the noise I was dreading screeeeecchhhhhh.....I could even smell the rubber as it raced against the wet tarmac. I had witnessed the audacity of Bollywood directors as they convinced us that the big B could flying kick his victim from a standing start 50 meters away! I had witnessed Mittan's mighty mukah cause many a wall to come crumbling down in humble defeat. I had even witnessed my childhood hero BARKAT ALI! jump up and down repeatedly in a superhuman fashion causing an earthquake of apocalyptic proportion as he fought valiantly against the local gunday and badmaash who were terrorizing his poor village folk (I salute you sir!). But, I also bare witness that no director Bollywood, Hollywood, Lollywood or even our African brethren in Nollywood as they continue to push the boundary's of reality could ever begin to script the chain of events that had befallen me on this ruthless January night.
tbc...
Basically, I applied for my work visa here through my company. But due to the red tape and general bureaucratic nonsense, which mind you makes ye old England look lawless! I find myself without a work visa and on a visit visa which is 10 days expired. Yes people you are reading the blog of an illegal immigrant or as they say in the native land a SIASEY PANA! Apparently there was a problem in the system which processes the visas and so I find myself in this slightest of predicaments. Hard to believe it I know, but yes even her Majesty's discretion has its limits. Despite being a proud holder of the mighty British Passport I find myself looking sheepishly over my soldier every time that I am confronted by any individual resembling a law enforcer. Only last night for instance I was walking back to the apartment and saw a police car parked at the entrance of the building, so maneuvering evasively I sprung into action and out of the way of any possible confrontation. Frighting visions of heartless deportation officers banging at my apartment door with the order at the ready to drag me from my humble abode raced through my mind as I tried to maintain calm and tried even more tirelessly to control my breath as the adrenaline pumped through my vains! Then came the images of my family and my childhood all flooding back to me in a raging tsunami of emotion, oh "how could this happen to me, I only came here for a better life, all I wanted was to get myself back on track, this is the last thing I need, please God (tears flowing) I am sorry for all the bad things that I have done, I promise you I will be a good boy, I will pray and do all the good things that good people do". 5 minutes went by 10 minutes went by still the lights flashed in front of me and with every flash my heart sunk deeper and deeper and deeper. "I need to make a run for it thats the only way I am going to make it, or maybe I should wait a few more minutes just in case, no I should go, stay, go, stay go argghhhh! My mind was quickly becoming my worst enemy I had to get a hold of myself, think Raz think! "Ok, ok I can make this I just need a plan, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am going to find it!" I reassured myself.
Just then it happened. "You've got to be s******g me" I said to myself as I rummaged through my pockets in a mad frenzy, tears flooding from my ears. I hadn't even noticed the rain which had drenched me and my favorite H&M office shirt causing my ever bulging muscles to protrude through the thin white cotton (honestly). "No! no! Bono please don't do this to me! Why! Mary why" I say it with no shame I cried like a baby in a wet nappy.
And who had put my phone on loud, it was never on loud it was always on vibrate! Just then I punched my pocket as hard as I could and in the heat of the moment completely oblivious to what was going on around me I flew out from behind the bush and began to run. And run I did like I had never done before. My shirt was torn and a little trickling of blood caught my eye as I glimpsed down to investigate the sharp pain at my side. This was no time for feeling sorry for myself as I ran through sand dune after sand dune. Just then I remembered the famous words of my old business teacher Mr Tattle 'the ability to make split second decisions can be the difference between success and failure'. Well, dear Sir I had made the decision whether or not it was the right one only time will tell. Just then came the noise I was dreading screeeeecchhhhhh.....I could even smell the rubber as it raced against the wet tarmac. I had witnessed the audacity of Bollywood directors as they convinced us that the big B could flying kick his victim from a standing start 50 meters away! I had witnessed Mittan's mighty mukah cause many a wall to come crumbling down in humble defeat. I had even witnessed my childhood hero BARKAT ALI! jump up and down repeatedly in a superhuman fashion causing an earthquake of apocalyptic proportion as he fought valiantly against the local gunday and badmaash who were terrorizing his poor village folk (I salute you sir!). But, I also bare witness that no director Bollywood, Hollywood, Lollywood or even our African brethren in Nollywood as they continue to push the boundary's of reality could ever begin to script the chain of events that had befallen me on this ruthless January night.
tbc...
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